Saturday, September 20, 2014

A Place For Us

Dear Theodore,

I know I haven't written in a long while, but I promise to try and post at least once a month... __notice try ;) haha!__ Well, anyways, I was thinking of a certain video that mom took of you maybe a year and half before you died. I'll post it then give my thoughts.

"There's a place for us. 
Somewhere a place for us. 
Take my hand and we're half-way there. 
Take my hand and I'll take you there" . . . 

The other day, as I was driving home from work, I began to think of how much my life has changed since you died. How a lonely feeling swept over me and my heart broke. I had to fight back the tears since I was driving and didn't want to blur my vision. But this song really hit home for me at that moment. In so many ways that explains the change that happened when you left us. Before this all happened, those words were just from a song that was in a movie, nothing more. But now they have a deeper meaning. They're like your comfort to me. It's like you're putting your hand on my shoulder and telling me that there is more than this. That the tears, hurt, and loneliness is all just temporary. It'll end. Somewhere. Sometime. And I don't have to do it alone. As in the song "take my hand...", you are there helping me. Leading me. What more could I want? It may seem strange, but there is a positive way in which we can look at your death. Here you have already gone before us, but you're still our brother and you have no intention of abandoning us. It's strange to think that there is a light in all this sorrow. That your death actually could have brought a kind of peace that really can't be explained. It's like we're closer to God, because now we have a "messenger" to carry our prayers and petitions to Him. We have someone of our family in heaven watching over us.

I can see you now up there singing this song. Your words are more meaningful even to you. You're gazing down upon us with your hand stretched out, telling us that there's a place for us. And it gives us the strength we need to keep carrying on. To keep moving on until we are all in that place for us! And I know that when we all are there it'll be one, big happy family reunion and I can't wait until then!

I love you big brother!